Some Thoughts on Friendship

The year was 1987.

The hair was permed, the skin was over-tanned, and the metal was heavy.

Shimmering Shell lipstick was the go-to and high school graduation was on everyone's mind.

We were 80s girls and the world was our oyster.

This photo was taken at a graduation party and it makes me so happy to look at each of these fresh-faced optimists. Together throughout our entire childhood, we turned to each other as friends, teammates, classmates, neighbors, rivals and confidants. 

Side-by-side, we fumbled through many of life's "firsts."

We learned exactly what we did and did not want in a friend.

More importantly, we learned what kind of a friend we wanted to be.

My thoughts now turn to my own children:

Have I shown them what it's like to be a good friend? 

Certainly, we've discussed it at length, but has my example been enough?

More than anything, my hope for my children is that they experience life with a loving, nurturing support system firmly in place. They know with all certainty that they are loved immeasurably, 

but will they know how to love others well?

Selfless love takes maturity and discipline and lots and lots of practice. 

It's placing your own needs aside to listen and love others when they most need it.

It involves continually choosing to love friends who may not always be lovable.

It takes patience and commitment and the ability to listen in an attempt to better understand the struggles of others.

Often times, words are not needed.

Showing up and listening with consistency act as tiny deposits in other's trust banks. 

As the saying goes, "It takes a long time to grow an old friend."

I love that social media like Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with so many wonderful people who were part of my childhood.  I truly enjoy being able to have a snapshot into their lives and to be able to reach out and let them know they are on my mind.

I'm honored when a friend from my past contacts me in an attempt to reconnect, or to send a sweet birthday wish.  I do not take that lightly. Friendships take effort. 

Close friendships take commitment, and time, and loyalty... and it's worth every ounce of energy.

Today alone, I was able to spend time with one of my dearest friends who is fiercely battling breast cancer.  Her quiet strength is an inspiration. 

I got to hug and visit briefly with my first friend. We met in preschool when our mothers became best friends. I hadn't seen him in years.

I was contacted by a friend from high school who had questions about relationships and was seeking advice.

After each of these encounters, I was touched beyond measure with gratitude. 

I deeply value intimacy and the gift of sincere friendships.

My desire for my children is for them to be the kind of friend they hope to have.

It makes the crazy ride worthwhile.

Love, live, and create with intention,

Kristi