Perspective at Forty-Five

I've noticed some changes in myself lately.

I cry more easily over the simplest sentimental advertisements and videos.

I hug my children (especially my soon-to-be high school grad) a bit longer.

I listen to their words and what is NOT being said, but what is shown in their expressions and actions.

I hold my husband's hand tighter, 

fully realizing the great opportunity I've been given to walk hand-in-hand with someone who often understands me better than I understand myself. 

I care less about the grade on the report card,

and much more about the emotional intelligence and health of my offspring,

knowing well that they will make or break their own childrens' hearts one day.

I value time with our parents.

I enjoy wine with them and laugh and even curse, because it's okay.

I'm in great company, and I savor this privilege to know them as friends.

I know this time is precious and I tuck our conversations into my heart's treasures.

Maybe it's about becoming middle-aged.

Maybe it's about growing up.

Either way, I'm okay with this.

I take more photos of scenery because I notice it.

I breathe it in and become part of the experience.

I look at these photos and sigh a "Mmmmmm..."

I see it. I remember it. I treasure that snippet of a moment.

I worry about finances and savings and retirement, yet I know it will all be okay.

I have never worked so hard to break even, yet I've never been more content.

I'm okay.  

I'm surrounded by a circle of intimacy that makes every step of the journey worthwhile.

I notice my body becoming more audible...

since when does every step produce a crack or creak?

I notice the laugh lines around my eyes 

and the creases above my lips from the kisses I bestowed upon my cherubic babies.

I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. 

I wouldn't want to be 21 again...

Fit and flexible and naive.

I wouldn't trade a step of the journey.

I've slowly gained perspective into what it is to experience BIG love,

BIG disappointment, and BIG acceptance.

I truly care much less about what others say, do, or think.

That's THEIR journey. 

I choose kindness and acceptance. 

I choose patience and tolerance.

I choose love.

This is where I stand.

And I must say, the view is amazing from here.

Love, Live and Create with Intention,

Kristi